Heather Carlile Live from the Red Room
Heather Recorded a Live Free Broadcast Every Wednesday at 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. Central Time for 16 months.
Q&A with Heather Carlile LIVE
Over 60 Hours of Relationship and Life Style Tips
You can learn from Heather’s best recorded mentoring at http://youtube.com/heathercarlile
For the list of 64 video topics, you can go to: https://heathercarlile.com/marriage-lifestyle-design-help-tube-channel/
Here is a sample of one of the live conversations – note that these are the anonymous questions and comments of Heather’s viewers; her replies to them were typed as No. 74294 and were largely spoken by Heather via live broadcast:
7:54 RedRoom–36775: Welcome to the Red Room! This is Heather and I’m thrilled that you’ve tuned in tonight!Please, don’t hesitate to type me questions in the chat box.
8:20 RedRoom–72430: We are an engaged couple. We get along well but I (groom) sometimes feel we don’t consistently communicate well enough especially when it comes to conflict. How do we improve this?
8:21 RedRoom–1533: I have been married for 15 years and have the same problem when it comes to communicating during a conflict.
8:22 RedRoom–72430: I (groom) have kids from a previous marriage and sometimes feel that my fiance pulls away from all of us (me and kids) when we have an argument
8:23 RedRoom–72430: We do love each other very much
8:26 RedRoom–72430: I am the soon to be bride in this relationship, but I think that the whole issue behind the conflict is that whenever we get in an argument, he has the same reason (that I don’t want to spend time).
8:27 RedRoom–72430: I dont this is true and it hurts when he consistently makes this statement
8:27 RedRoom–72430: time w him and the kids
8:27 RedRoom–72430: 12 8 and 6
8:32 RedRoom–72430: we have moved in together and in a new home. Things were tough for a while, but now they have been great. I just worry about when we do get married. Will they change again?
8:35 RedRoom–72430: No
8:35 RedRoom–36775: The Five Love Languages
8:37 RedRoom–72430: My (groom) concern is that during conflict she tends to pull away, silent treatment so to speak, and I don’t feel that is constructive.
8:38 RedRoom–72430: I feel like (bride) that the time we do spend together is short, interrupted w phones. On the days he doesn’t have the girls, he works late.
8:44 RedRoom–72430: This has been useful. I also didn’t know she felt that way about my work schedule.
8:46 RedRoom–72430: One of my main concerns is that when we do have an argument, it always comes back that I don’t want to spend time with him and the girls. Which is not true. I love him and the girls but he doesn’t believe me. I don’t know how else to prove to him that this is not true.
8:51 RedRoom–72430: I want to rebuild a family but don’t want to push her into the kids’ activities that make her uncomfortable (soccer, girl scout activities, etc., the kids are active in all)
8:52 RedRoom–88114: (married person) How do you communicate to figure out the problem? I will take some time away and then come back to it only to have the same “bunny-rabbit” cycle occur again.
8:53 RedRoom–72430: sometimes I feel she doesn’t want to participate and when an argument ensues the whole pushing away comes back into my mind
8:54 RedRoom–72430: (bride) I do like to participate, but I feel uncomfortable doing that because sometimes the mother is there and there was an incident at one activity. I don’t like to be uncomfortable.
8:55 RedRoom–72430: I’m hesitant to do too much because I don’t want them to think I am trying to replace their mother. I don’t the phrase “your not my mother” thrown in my face. (It hasn’t been said – but I just don’t
8:55 RedRoom–72430: want it to be said).
8:58 RedRoom–72430: i don’t think he understands that I have been single for 31 years and now have a family with 3 kids. I am new to this and I don’t think he is giving me enough credit for what I have accomplished so far.
9:05 RedRoom–72430: yes i think thats true.
9:06 RedRoom–20313: Thanks Heather!!
9:09 RedRoom–89655: Thank you Heather!!!
8:31 RedRoom-82657: Listening to you talk about being “at ease” in social situations made me realize that I am LEAST comfortable at HOME!!!!!
8:32 RedRoom-82657: What a realization
8:32 RedRoom-82657: Heather, you made me suddenly realize this!!
8:33 RedRoom-82657: And right now I suddenly am very sad!!
8:33 RedRoom-82657: very very sad
8:34 RedRoom-82657: Heather, I can’t believe that I never realized it before
8:34 RedRoom-82657: Something you said triggered a sudden stream of deep emotion in me.
8:36 RedRoom-96133: is there a topic for tonight? or is it okay to blurt out a question?
8:39 RedRoom-96133: heather, i am having obsessive thoughts about a relationship that has ended. how can I stop this persistent compulsion to contact this person? i feel devistated, a soulmate lost.
8:40 RedRoom-96133: parlyzing sadness
8:41 RedRoom-74294: Deep Grief. The Dark Night of the Soul.
8:44 RedRoom-74294: grief.wordpress.com
8:50 RedRoom-96133: yes, but i dont really have a lot of friends
8:51 RedRoom-74294: Email me and request my Passion List…It’s 9 pages long! I designed it to inspire you in remembering the things you care about.
8:53 RedRoom-96133: that seems so hard, i work alone, often, or with people every few weeks,
8:54 RedRoom-96133: i definitely believe that i need a ‘tribe’ but it seems so hard to find. often times, the volunteer work is a one way giving
8:54 RedRoom-96133: i need friends
8:54 RedRoom-96133: where there is a genuine sharing
8:55 RedRoom-96133: i have a very agile mind, but find myself bogged down by feelings
8:56 RedRoom-96133: it often seems as though the feelings create ‘automatic’ thoughts
8:56 RedRoom-96133: from the very time i wake up until i lay my head down
8:58 RedRoom-96133: i feel so paralyzed, parking myself in front of the TV for hours
8:58 RedRoom-96133: just to numb out
9:07 RedRoom-96133: thank you heather
9:07 RedRoom-82657: Heather – Thank you SO MUCH — You give me the confidence to move forward
NOTE: After one year on You Tube, there have been over 11,000 views of these videos.