Upcoming Events
Designing Intimacy: Blueprints for Lasting Connection
Free One-Hour Masterclass for Couples Ready to Rekindle, Redesign, and Deepen Their Bond
Discover how to break old patterns, communicate with depth, and design a relationship grounded in lasting emotional connection—guided by the principles of conscious intimacy.
In This Masterclass, You’ll Learn:
The 3 hidden dynamics that quietly erode closeness—and how to reverse them
Blueprints for designing intentional intimacy that meets both partners’ needs
A practice to shift from reactive cycles into conscious connection
How unconscious beliefs and attachment styles shape your bond—and how to realign
What sustainable intimacy really looks like in a long-term relationship
This Masterclass is For You If:
You feel like your connection used to be deeper—and want it back
You long for more emotional presence, safety, and mutual understanding
You want to build a shared language around love, desire, and healing
You’re navigating a big transition (new parents, empty nest, infidelity recovery, etc.)
Details
Date: Tuesday, September 22, 2026
Time: 7:30 Central
Duration: 60 minutes
Location: Online via Zoom (link upon registration)
Bonus: All attendees will receive a free “Design Your Intimacy Blueprint” worksheet.
Attendees Hidden: You are welcome here exactly as you are. This is a confidential space with only Heather visible on the Zoom screen.
Bonus Invitation:
Stay until the end to receive early access to the Designing Intimacy: Blueprints for Lasting Connection couples program—your next step toward a deeper, more sustainable relationship.
Reserve Your Spot Now!
Limited spots per session. Secure your place today.
2026 Somehow holds more possibilities! I’m seeing more couples for counseling and offering classes for couples.
It’s been five years and 8 months since my wonderful husband passed away. Yes, as I mentor those in grief and loss, it may take years to weather the dark journey through the chrysalis of loss and change. I hadn’t been able to escape the agony and dullness of traversing the Valley of the Shadow of Death for five years. And, I do endeavor to walk my talk sincerely, always have. But, I never expected that I would be required to weather such suffering.
But, now, I can, again, think clearly and am ready for this solitary sojourn with peace and gratitude. Jack did give me everything for expressing my talents. He especially gave me a forever love. In retrospection, I love him even more with the perspective of remembering the twenty years of our marriage. As is often our experience, I wish I’d been better…I wish that I could have been more devoted to him in more ways. And, at the same time, I know that we both gave everything we could to each other and our life together.
I let him go and find the peaceful gratitude that I am passionate about my works. There is much to do and, in honor of Jack, it must be done with smiles, excellence and sparkle!
He left me with my home, Principessa, a beautiful private practice office, a professional video podcast studio and endless computing power! Bravissimo, my Beloved. Time to take action and I’m ready.
I’ve returned to my You Tube Channel with The Carlile Conversations about Designing Intimacy: Blueprints for Lasting Connection.
And, couples counseling. Sign up for a free 20-minute consultation: https://calendly.com/event_types/user/me
One year ago today, on January 7, 2021, my Twin Soul, Jack Waldenmaier, passed away. We were all in disbelief. He and I agreed to ‘take it one day-at-a-time.’ We didn’t know how long the cancer would leave us. It was November and December of 2020. All of the children and grandchildren came to us. Every day…we told stories, cooked lots of great food depending on Jack’s request and spent time as a family. It was the perfect send off for Jack. His last conscious words to me were: “All of the love has been expressed. I’m ready to go.” He lost consciousness and was gone in three days.
I pray the loss of my Soul Mate and my marriage is my final ordeal. I don’t think my grief will ever be ‘done.’ I believe it was his time to go, he had brilliantly and lovingly fulfilled his purpose.
This morning, at 1:30 AM, the hour of his passing, two friends joined me from England and France on zoom for a ritual and vigil I had created in homage to him.
I lit three candles for Jack, me and our marriage. I read my gratitude, some of my poetry and played the middle movement ‘Goodbye Song’ from the “Quartet for Heather.” He composed it for my surprise 70th birthday party in June 2019. If I ever feel low, all I do is remember that day and feel the flood of love I received. Little did we know that the next year would bring a pandemic and his death.
Here is part of what Jack read to introduce the premiere:
Thank you all for being here, and creating together, this magical evening, for Heather…
In the beginning of April (2019), after quite a long hiatus, I decided to compose again.
Heather naturally assumed that it would be another orchestral work.
So I let her believe that.
The work is called simply, “Quartet.”
It’s in three movements, approximately 15 minutes long.
And I decided to have its premiere performance right here, as part of this surprise party for Heather, and to dedicate this work to her.
The performers are not only fabulous musicians as you will hear…they are our friends.
Would you welcome please, Baya Kakouberi, Rosana Eckert, Jonathan Jones and Jolyon Pegis.
On April 18, 2021, Baya Kakouberi, piano; Rosana Eckert, treble voice; Jonathan Jones, clarinet; and Jennifer Choi, cello, with Jack’s daughter, Jennifer Waldenmaier Harper, replacing him as the conductor, performed the public premiere in a Voices of Change concert. Artistic Director, Maria Schleuning, dedicated the concert to Jack and his decade of service on the Board. You’ll find the Quartet for Heather in the concert at minute 1:08:00. The second of the three movements is the Goodbye Song, one of the nine compositions he wrote for my ReWriting Your Future workshops in 2004. (The majority of them are very funny including The False Assumption Blues.) We couldn’t have predicted that, 16 years later, it would end up being his life’s goodbye song to me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCC5w1dvceU Start listening at 1:08 minutes.
Many years ago, I wrote this about marriage:
When a soul’s ultimate lesson is intimacy,
that purpose takes priority
even over any mission to serve the world.
Thus, when ‘un grand amour’ arrives,
all else becomes secondary.
-Heather Carlile
Now that Jack is gone, my calling becomes priority. I blew out his candle. I blew out our marriage candle. And I dedicate myself to my writing and teaching.
It’s the month of June which invites weddings.
I am saddened when I hear someone say, “A wedding is just a piece of paper.” It has inspired me, repeatedly, to describe how I view a wedding and a marriage as one of the most precious and powerful human experiences. At last, I wrote a rebuttal. Here is part of that description. Here is a new narrative and new vocabulary.
The Sacred Making of a Marriage
Our Souls Carry a Craving So Old They have Forgotten its Language.
The Soul has a Natural Need to Know it’s Connection with the Brave and Magical.
Threads that Weave Through Humanity’s Journey Went to Sleep.
Our Living Within Legend Vanished ~
So, the Slumbering Psyche Searches for Symbols.
We Want to Play the Ancient Tales in Our Lives of Two-Become-One.
The Wedding Ritual Revives the Romance of Other Legendary Loves.
The Universal and Potent Potential Awaits.
In Their Ecstasy, they May Live an Ageless Story, an Historic Mystery.
The Sacred Making of a Marriage is where Two Become More than Twins.
The wedding rite marks the marvel of birth—
the sacred making of a marriage
where two become more than twins.
The god self in each quickening
to reach deeper for the sake of reverencing the other.
The individuals now become more, to not deprive their lover.
A Daring, Unswerving Commitment to the Soul’s Highest Cause
The marriage may be metamorphosed into newness
through seasons and cycles by a daring, unswerving commitment
to the souls’ highest cause and craving:
to love, ever more, the Beloved.
♥♥♥
Dear Jack, I love you more than physical life.
I know that this lifetime is now inadequate for my soul’s purpose without our unity.
~ Heather Carlile
For Jack Waldenmaier on our 3rd Anniversary 07/22/2004.
Now that Jack is gone, I can see that our marriage was a critical component which gave me proof of knowing, with no reservations, a Great Love between Twin Souls.
I now understand it as the greatest gift I have been given in my entire life.
It made me wise, vulnerable and devoted to loving my man…my best friend and my lover.
While he lived, he was number one. And, from my current vantage point, I also see how my human incapacities deprived me of loving him better.
While you have life, may my words invite you to love your spouse even better.
Love and blessings,
Heather
P.S. While you have life, LIVE!
P.P.S. Starting with a special wedding in June 2007, I have been creating one-of-a-kind symbolic wedding gifts. I customize each gift with the theme and colors of the bride and groom. When they open the present, they discover seven small gifts. Each object represents one of the seven lover’s languages. I am assured that this offering usually touches them both so deeply that they shed tears. My intention is to mirror the sanctity in their marriage. And, each time, I refine the message.
Is this all there is?