As we count down the hours to end 2013 and are reminded to set ourselves in a new and better direction for the new year, this article inspired me. Here’s the link to the detailed descriptions of these forms of self-sabotage. I think that, once we can identify or “make friends” with, or name our Saboteur, we can better see the opposite. In essence, if we can say “no,” to something, the paradox will reveal where we want to say, “Yes!”
Notice how many of these are internal and, therefore, within our reach.
1. Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves.
2. Give Away Their Power.
3. Shy Away from Change.
4. Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control.
5. Worry About Pleasing Others.
6. Fear Taking Calculated Risks.
7. Dwell on the Past.
8. Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over.
9. Resent Other People’s Success.
10. Give Up After Failure.
11. Fear Alone Time.
12. Feel the World Owes Them Anything.
Cognitive Neuroscientist, Dr. Julia Mossbridge, uses the metaphor of ‘the wolf’ to represent her ability to make decisions based on her internal locus of control. This involves us making decisions not based on feelings, fears nor defense, rather based on our authentic values, beliefs and goals. So often we self-sabotage by being guided by the exterior influence rather than being true to ourselves. She writes that “in our daily lives we see very few people who are bursting with the personal power that comes from using authentic experience to guide everyday actions.
Mossbridge reminds us that the pivot point of becoming strong and powerful is being true to ourselves:
- Swallowing the wolf means claiming your personal power by following your own guidance and standards, not those of the external world.
- Two fears keep us from claiming this power: 1) fear that we have no internal guidance or standards, and 2) fear that we have them but they will mislead us.
- Noticing the impact of acting authentically can help lessen these fears.
- At the point you realize that you use your internal guides more often than external ones, you have swallowed your wolf.
I’d like to hear how you have learned to avoid these types of self-sabotage and been successful by swallowing your own strength or wolf.