Seven Styles of Love
Type can be looks, personality, charm, chemistry, sense of humor, intelligence, body language, tone of voice, warmth, etc.
Tending is paying full attention with sincere empathy and interest.
Time is spending couple time such as a date night, driving on errands together, vacations for two, working together on a project, co-parenting, even doing the kitchen together.
Touch is the personal caring touch, hugs, holding hands, arm around the shoulder, staying side-by-side at a social event and usually includes sexual pleasure.
Tasks are doing helpful or practical things for your mate which is usually day-to-day tasks but may include surprise or substantial projects like a closet or the garage.
Talk is the easy conversations of best friends including the ability to talk through tough times or conflicts. We need to talk every day, often all day, for many reasons. Communication is where most things start, resolve and end.
Tokens of love are personal gifts or small items like a flower or a glass of wine, a greeting card, adding to a collection, or a once-in-a-lifetime present such as a diamond or a car.
FOR KEEPS: When Jack came into my life, I became very focused on being a loving mate. I had that sense which comes to us when we find the Beloved…this is ‘for keeps.’ Somehow the relationship bond makes every day important because every day ‘really counts.’ The five love languages described so well by Gary Chapman have made such a difference for thousands of couples. However, in my marriage and in my work as a Marriage Counselor, I have learned that there are at least seven patterns of how we express our love generously in our relationships… especially in our intimate relationships. Here are my descriptions.
CHILDREN: And, I want to always be careful and remember that our children need to feel our love expressed for them, too. See Dr. Gordon Neufeld and Dr. Gabor Mates’ book, “Hold On To Your Kids: They Need You More Than Peers.” You will learn what our parents generation couldn’t and didn’t know.
JACK’S TYPE: I learned that Jack’s Number One Language of Love was “Type.” How I appear physically matches his chemistry style. That makes my health super important. Despite the admonishments about looking deeper than the surface, we know that how we look is evidence of the essence of our self respect and quality of day-to-day life. Today, we understand the complexities of the mind-body-spirit bond. That depth of perception proves to us how it is a gift of love to be beautiful or handsome, fit and positive.
In other words…SMILE!