New CEU Class: My Best Methods for Couples

SAVE THE DATE: June 17 1:30pm – 4:30pm with Heather Carlile, MA, LPC-S THREE Credit Hours for LPC and LMFT $60 ($70 at the door) To register, go to: heathercarlile.com/ceu My Best Methods and Exercises for Couples: Four Languages for the Intimate Bond, Men are Easy…Women are Complicated, Poisons and Antidotes, Simple and Advanced Genograms, […]

OuchRage: Complicated Grief and Trauma

COMPREHENSIVE VIEW The LifeStyle Building Building Blocks Model is my synthesis of what research shows are the trusted elements of a healthy and happy life. Over many years, I devoted myself to researching and building a model which would illustrate all elements for our internal abilities and the dimensions of daily life so that there are […]

Fighting – Don’t Waste Your Good Mind

FIGHTING AND THE UNDEVELOPED MIND (HONORING DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AWARENESS MONTH): Part of my mission is to help stop fighting. Verbal or physical fighting is something that decent people know how to calm and derail in small children. Then, starting in childhood, we refuse to waste our time and intelligence in conflict. It feels bad. It […]

The Best Couples are Equally Smart: 27 Types of Intelligence

What  happens when a couple experiences irritation because of intelligence mis-match? In Marriage Counseling, I feel responsible to ensure that a couple can respect each other as equals. So, even when our talents and intelligences don’t completely match, if we understand how our differences benefit the marriage, we can treasure our spouse or mate for […]

Mentoring a Generation

We are starting a generation based on the artful use of vast information and the focused implementation of schooled abilities in order to build healthy lives. DIRECTION AND DESTINATION: Thanks to the synthesis and culmination of advancements through the previous generations, we have the research and the knowledge to indicate the human direction and destination. We are at […]

The Relationship COSTS of Skipping IDENTITY in Adolescence

ONGOING CONFLICT IN MARRIAGE: Couples often continue to treat each other the same way they did when they were teens. One of the most tragic complaints I hear from couples in my Marriage Counseling sessions, is when they describe their arguments, fighting and resentment. Sometimes it has escalated into being mean, harmful, abusive or violent. They are […]

Infidelity: Cause #4. Lack of Skills

4. Lack of Skills in Intimate Relationships. Marriage or Intimacy Require that a Couple Be Two Things: Best Friends and that they Have a Romantic Bond. INEPT MEN: I think that romance is a skill. Tragically, I see some cultures, North America among them, lack male role models and mentors who show guys the ropes […]

INFIDELITY: Cause # 3. Lack of Knowledge about Intimacy

  3. Lack of Knowledge about Intimate Relationships Reading even a couple of chapters of a book or studying a few websites on relationships, watching a couple of videos on You Tube can make a startling difference in the quality of your friendship, your intimacy (sexual, mental and emotional), your home life and your parenting.  […]

INFIDELITY: Cause #2. Lack of Emotional Intelligence

As a marriage counselor, I’ve worked with hundreds of couples. Each relationship is unique and yet I can describe four general patterns that are at the root of most infidelity. Lack of Maturity Lack of Emotional Intelligence Lack of Knowledge Lack of Skills 2. Lack of Emotional Intelligence POWER AND CONTROL: People compensate for under-developed […]