We have long been taught the importance of the examined life. Studying ourselves and our experiences allows us to arrive at an understanding of our life choices and relationships by exploring our core complexes and personal history. In this module we examine your developmental and relationship patterns. You will identify which psychological stages you were able to complete and which need more attention now. You will also examine where you need to develop better boundary skills, empowerment and commitment to growth.
EQUIPMENT AND RESOURCES: When we embark upon an important journey, we are usually able to prepare ourselves with the knowledge we need for a successful, enjoyable and worthwhile experience. Depending on the extent of the travel plans, we gather a map, travel documents, make reservations in advance so preparations can be made for our arrivals.
We learn languages, we choose our vehicle or mode of transport; we purchase fuel or tickets; we know where we’re going and how long it will take and when we’re going home.
HISTORICALLY NO HUMAN MAP: Yet, on the journey of life, we often hear our friends’ and neighbors’ frustration, complaint and regret that we aren’t given a manual nor a guide for life… for parenting, for adolescence, for marriage and relationships nor for our mission. As the human development work has progressed over the last 20 years, we have studied, discovered, designed and refined many resources which were unavailable to previous generations.
TODAY WE KNOW THE WAY: The ReWriting Your Future handbook coalesces as many of these current guides as is practical for verbal and written format.
STAGES OF LIFE: Each chronological stage of life calls forth two universal abilities that seem to be in opposition and that press for resolution such as The Nurturer and The Warrior. It is never too late to learn these elements of human nature. Many people today do not resolve their childhood issues, develop emotional intelligence or intimate relationships until well into adulthood, or even into old age.
SELF-KNOWLEDGE: Recognizing what issues are incomplete, by itself, can have a powerful effect on our lives, allowing us to open up to the potential energy that can complete that process for us. It can also help us see what kind of help we might need.
CHOOSING OUR STRENGTHS: The experience of giving life to each of your parts or roles often brings great relief and empowerment. Most of us struggle in some fashion to do the right thing and often feel that we must accept the consequences of bad choices, self-doubt, fears, confusion or frustrations. But understanding our personal roles can feel empowering. We can avoid defining or limiting ourselves to old habits by learning which behavior works successfully or against us in different circumstances.
FOR EXAMPLE…FINDING A MATE: For example, if our inner Child is still carrying a wound about abandonment, the Child will be defensive against a possible mate or be needy and urgently clingy. If our Lover tries to be romantic with a new date, the Child will throw a tantrum, get bratty or it might also get controlling and whiney and scare off any possibility for further dates. The Child will refuse to listen to the Lover but, if you notice what’s happening inside yourself, one of the things you can do is internally comfort the Child…perhaps even become the Parent and assure the inner Child that it can relax and not worry allowing us to behave appropriately or with discernment. This is just an example; there are many other scenarios. I think we each have patterns to discover and master.
ASSUMPTIONS: From birth, each of us experiences the process of becoming human. And, through the process, we make assumptions about who we are and what it is to be human.
BRAIN DEVELOPMENT: We learn about our bodies, our environment, our abilities and about other people while the brain grows through the developmental stages of maturation and learns how to function for successful living physically, emotionally, intelligently and relationally.
YOUR HISTORY: How we perceive ourselves, others and the world is largely dependent on what we experience from our environment…what happens in our home and how our society or tribe behaves and interprets life.
POWERFUL MEMORIES: In the following exercise, describe the most powerful memories from your past. The object is to gain insight on your formative experiences and what they taught you that formed certain beliefs whether true or confusing. We all learn useful information from both fortunate experiences and troubling expriences.
1. The Power of Naming – How is My Style Unique?
Personality Patterns – Who Am I?
Personal Roles – The Dimensions of My Identity
My Childhood Life Script – What was my first story/role model?
Personality Type – Your Enneagram
Six Universal Abilities – Integrating the Shadow into the Gift
Naming the Hats You Wear – The Characters or Costumes
Moving Above My Myths
2. Life Stories – Our Generation, Journey and Stages
Patterns, Habits and Parables for Life – Where Did I Come From?
Three Kinds of Consciousness
Seven Levels of Archetypes
The Meaning of Life
Our Road Map – The Hero’s Journey
Integrating the Six Pairs of the Journey Stages
The Hero’s Journey — Our Stages of Life
Finding a New Story
Social or Ritual Archetypes
1. Looking Back: My Life’s Events and Schooling
Your Journey – My Timeline
Your Major Life Events – What Were My Lessons?
Synthesis of Major Life Events – My Life’s Schooling
Your Family Story – What Were My Roles?
Your Original Story – The Genogram
Ericsson’s Psychological Developmental Stages
The Basic Qualities of the Four Family-of-Origin Roles
Effects of Childhood Interactions
Replacing My Past to Create My Future Happiness
Forgiving the Past
2. Building Self-Esteem: Individuation and Re-Parenting
Integrating Gender Differences In Society
Boundaries of Respect– Balancing Privacy and Closeness
Re-Parenting – Empowerment Today
Mind and Thought
Heart and Emotions
Body and Fitness
Instinct and Sexuality
Spirituality and Character
The Moment of Commitment