Mentoring a Generation by Heather Carlile, MA, LPC


1. Mentoring a Generation for Marriage

Deep Friendship

Romantic Intimacy

2. Mentoring a Generation for Parenting

Identify the OuchRage: Counterwill and Crisis

Commitment to Meaning

2. Mentoring a Generation for Healing

Understand the Addiction: Love, Lack, Lifestyle

Heal the Wounds: Connect, Grieve, Stop the Trauma

2017 is my year for sharing the results from my career of writing, mentoring and healing.

Today, I announce the seven categories of my works. Through the weeks and years in private practice and in teaching my colleagues, I’ve produced materials for homework and for education. Last year I shared the substance of my methods for working with couples in a workshop with my colleagues. That really is the beginning for goodness. I am convinced that home, deep friendship and adult intimate bonds are the foundation for good in the world.

  1. Couples & Relationships
  2. Parenting & Mentoring
  3. Anger, Grief, Trauma, Addiction
  4. Psychology, Emotions, Personality
  5. ReWriting Your Future
  6. Virtue & Spirituality
  7. New Nutrition
Mentoring a Generation

Mentoring a Generation

Designer Marriage – Mentoring Couples Who Care

Heather and Jack

Heather and Jack

Couples Communication

The first exercises I give couples are these on communication. These self-assessments always help us notice what we are missing.

Table of Contents

Part Two: Communication

    1. Men and Women Really are from Different Planets 7
    2. Bunny Ya’But and Rabbit Ya’But 8
    3. Listening Self-Assessment Quiz 10
    4. Expert Speaking Abilities Quiz 14
    5. Common Sense Communication 18
    6. Format for Good Communication about Problems 19
    7. complaint with a request for change 19

Includes 10 hours of Video at

Part III. Making Sacred the Cycle

Making Sacred the Cycle

Nature’s grand patterns follow the sacred cycle.
The movement of breath: In, suspend, out.
The waves tumble in.
The foam pauses, motion held…
And the water slides back into the ocean.

The cycle of the seasons, heavens and generations
Inspire wonder, anticipation and ritual recognizing that order.
With watching millennia, decades and days comes trust.
Spring follows Winter with endless awakening out of hibernation.
Woman and man unite, babies are born and elders pass away.

We watch the movement and its mystery.
Questing and questioning the infinity.
Thrilling to the continuous majesty.
Weeping at the beauty.
Settling into faith and peace.

Directing water and air and earth and fire.
Erecting homes and gathering places.
Wielding materials for shelter and industry.
Events, traditions, ceremonies, rituals and rites
Expressing gratitude, love and humility.

Continual renewal with community parenting.
Foundational friendships and mentoring bonds.
Collaborative creativity for purposeful works.
Playful games and striving for more.
Made to mark the movement of time and souls.

Death now the release.
The way of honored elders leaving by passing away.
Heritage passed on to precious young.
Healing and hospice spirited with tenderness and compassion.
Making sacred the cycle of living and dying without objection, with acceptance.

The circle of aliveness is held in hearts and minds.
For the wise ones tell the stories that teach beyond black and white.
New minds learn the ease with rough seas and troubled waters.
Bodies, schooled by team and art, move freely with rolling decks.
Mistakes, misunderstandings and hurts are regretted and forgiven.

Love in all dimensions…a passion for experience and skill.
Desire for partners, place and peace.
Longing to serve for an opportunity of honor.
Gratitude for the magnificent and the minor.
Joy in reverence for life and a life are held in each soul.

Study the breadth of humanity’s ancient wisdom.
Mine the depths of mankind’s stories for the costs and the creations.
Every gem awaits, already faceted and set in a sacred symbol.
Listen, learn, observe, be entertained, appalled and inspired.
Above all, put parenting. We can only know and become what the adults provide.

Every jewel offered by history elegantly reflects simplicity…
the universal good which is: know yourself, love others and treasure life.

by Heather Carlile
Dallas, Texas July 2016

July 2, 2016
After watching “The Life of Pi” movie on AA 81 DFW to Denver, after the shootings and deaths of police officers in Dallas and the killings in Nice, France. July 14th is a sacred ritual day in France: Bastille Day.