For Our Military, Our Soldiers and their Extended Families: *PremiumContent*

Welcome! Thank you for logging in; I hope you find valuable information and resources here. I created this portal to make my materials available to you who have served our country in the Defense system.

I have been inspired by being able to participate in the Yellow Ribbon Program for the Army and by the time I spent with Colonel David Rabb and the 113th CSC unit before they left for Afghanistan in June 2011. I dedicate this page to all of you!

Here are links so that you can download, free, the information, handbooks and study guides I created for my private practice clients, my colleagues and my students. Please help your self to any or all of them and pass them on to anyone you like. My philosophy is that the knowledge I have accumulated needs to be in the hands of as many people as possible. I give you permission to share it.

It would be special to me for you to leave me a comment telling me about how my resources have helped you. And, it would be very valuable to me if you let me know what you need and about what else you or your loved-ones would like to have.

CHANGE

Grief Guide

Grief Recovery Guide

GriefGuide24p

Forgiveness Guide

Forgiveness Guide Book

Stress Management Handbook and Methods

Be Happy Under Stress and Creative with Your Power

Self Soothing for Stress

REWRITING YOUR FUTURE

LifeStyle Design Guide for Women

LifeStyle Design Guide for Women

LifeStyle Design Guide for Women

Lifestyle Design Guide for Woman

LifeStyle Design Guide for Men

Lifestyle Design Guide for Men

Passion Locator

Passion Locator

Goal-setting Guide

The Future Is Now – Goal Setting

RELATIONSHIPS

Communication Handbook

Communication for Couples

Communication for Couples

Introduction and Marriage/Relationship Quiz

Communication for Couples Introduction

1. Self-Scored Evaluation on Listening and Expressing; Intro to Using Cushion Statements for a “Complaint with a Request for Change.”

Communication for Couples Part 1

2. The 7 elements of Deep Friendship; The Original Relationship Script (from your parents) and what to do about it; Using Cushion Statements; Determining your top Love Languages; The Daily Dialogue with pocket cards.

Communication for Couples Part 2

3. Emotional Intelligence; the 4 Types of Toxic Communication and How to Stop it using Expressions of Love and Respect; Marriage Meeting Instructions with Agenda form; The 5 Types of Tantrums and What to do instead.

Communication for Couples Part 3

4. Emotional Intimacy: The Top Predictor of Divorce: Avoidance of Conflict. Using the power of anger constructively; 4 steps to fight nice; Forgiveness; The Purpose of a Marriage.

Communication for Couples Part 4

Parenting and Family

The Family Virtues Guide

The Family Virtues Guide

Happy House Rules

Happy House Rules

Family Meetings Instructions and List of Meaningful Discussion Topics

Family Meetings with Conversation Topics

Childhood Role Models Handbook

Childhood Role Models Handbook

Childhood Role Models Handbook: How Our Heroes Help and Hinder with Unconscious Life Scripts

Childhood Role Models: How Heroes Help and Hinder

Keeping Our Teens On Track – article and resources

Keeping our Teens On Track

In my opionion, the best sources for Parenting Today:

1. The Better Baby Institute:

www.iahp.org

2. The Family Virtues Guide:

www.virtuesproject.com

(See the page above with the 52 virtues listed…one for each week of the year.)

3. The Search Institute:  www.search-institute.org

The Search Institute has endless beautiful materials to help parents and teachers build the 40 Developmental Assets every child needs for empowerment.

The first step in becoming an asset-building parent is to pay more attention to the things your children need to grow up healthy. Some ideas to help you get started:

  • POST THE ASSETS: Post the list of 40 Developmental Assets on your refrigerator door. Each day, talk about one asset with your child, your spouse/partner or a close friend.
  • VALIDATE YOURSELF WITH PRIDE: Reflect on and celebrate your strengths as a parent and as a family. We all face challenges and draw from different sources of strength to get through, so be proud of them.
  • ARTICULATE YOUR IDEALS: Talk about the values, boundaries and expectations you wish to pass on to your children.
  • NURTURE YOUR ASSETS: Spend time with supportive people, use your time wisely and strive to model your own values in your life.
  • DO THINGS AS A FAMILY: Regularly do things with your child, including projects where you live, recreational activities and service projects. From time to time let your child or teenager choose which activities to do together as a family.
  • BE NEIGHBORLY: Introduce your children to other caring adults in your neighborhood, workplace, social network or faith community. Let other caring adults know you’d like them to get to know your child or teen because it’s important that kids have as much support from others as possible.
  • FAMILY MEALS: Try to eat together as a family as often as possible. The more you can do this, the better for everyone.
  • FAMILY SERVICE PROJECT: Choose a service project to do together, such as collecting cans for a food drive.
  • SUPPORT WITH OTHER PARENTS: Find other parents to connect with and learn from. Talk about both the joys and challenges of being a parent. Make a point of saying something positive about yourself and your child or teen.
  • SOLVE YOUR PROBLEMS: If you have concerns about your own (or your partner’s) parenting, anger or violence within your family, seek counsel from a trusted professional such as a counselor, religious leader or doctor.
  • MIRROR THE GOOD: Be a friend and asset builder for the friends of your children. Welcome them into your home. Look for the good things in them and be sure to point them out.
  • BE HUMAN: Give yourself permission to be “good enough.” Nobody’s perfect and that’s okay. Take a deep breath now and then and remind yourself you’re doing the best you can.

Spirituality and Inner Work

The Practice of Keeping a Journal

The Practice of Keeping a Journal

Journaling

Here’s my Journaling Guide to help you explore your identity, your life, your relationships, your sorrows, your triumphs and your dreams for the future. My journaling strengthened me through all the touch times of my life starting when I was about 16. I can’t say enough about the purity, the power and the privacy of writing. If you are not a writer, then don’t feel guilty, you have another path for exploration. But, if you can, write, type, talk your thoughts to God…whatever works for you.

Journaling Guide

WRITTEN RECORD: A journal or diary (both words are rooted in the Latin for “daily”) is any daily account or record of occurrences and reflections from a ship’s log, troubled musings, ‘to-do’ lists or memorable moments to the musings of people such as Winston Churchill, Anne Frank, Benjamin Franklin, Anais Nin, David Thoreau, and Walt Whitman.

SELF-EXAMINATION: One of the most useful means for emotional and spiritual self-development is the systematic use of an ongoing workbook, diary or journal. Such a journal, thoughtfully done, can provide a structure to assist us in paying closer attention to our lives and in evoking and developing our understanding of ourselves, others and our relationships.

 

Journal Notebook

Journal Notebook

SPIRAL-BOUND NOTEBOOK: You may like to use a hard-bound book of blank pages, etc. My favorite book for journaling or personal writing is a spiral-bound notebook with pockets in the front. I recommend that you write on only one side of the paper and use the other side for a Trump card or a space completely open for anything you choose. In our private writings, we are completely free to inscribe anything we choose including such elements as:

  • Notebook Musings or Scrapbook Nostalgia
  • Art, Sketches, Charts or Drawings
  • Letters (whether to be sent or not)
  • Dreams and Interpretations
  • Descriptions of Fantasies and Meditations
  • Voicing and Dialogue with Ourselves or Others
  • Making Lists, Strategic Thinking or Intuitive Problem Solving.

The Spiritual Practice of Virtue

Learning to think, speak and act from virtuousness was my most stringent spiritual practice and the one thing which has given me more strength, integrity and respect for myself and others than anything in all my 62-plus years. I recommend it to you with no reservations. It’s pure, understandable, challenging and effective.How to Use the Virtue Scrolls

The Virtue Scrolls

Courage Scrolls

Courage Scroll

Healing for Trauma Survivors

PTSD CoachFree iPhone App

PTSD Coach

When you download the App, you are instructed to setup with these three items:

PTSD Coach App1. Create a list of your friends, loved ones and/or professionals who can help when you’re feeling stressed.

2. Put pictures on your phone that are comforting or funny.

3. Put songs on your phone that you find relaxing or that put you in a good mood.

Songs

My husband, Jack Waldenmaier, is a composer. So, we want to give you a couple of pieces to use. Here are two songs you can download free which are from his compositions on his website, The Music Bakery.

mp3 files just for you:

Bright & Easy to put you in a good mood.

Bright & Easy from The Music Bakery

BalloonTenderness to relax you.

Tenderness from The Music Bakery

Enjoy!