Ways to mediate and moderate:
When you find yourself under pressure of urgency or disagreement, you can use the following languaging or affirmative statements to remind yourself and your intimates of an intelligent or wise way of moving through to solutions.

Because we want to solve problems and to grow:

· We can always learn how to resolve our differences.
· We hurt because we love; we forgive because we love.
· So, there's nothing to be afraid of; there's nothing to fear.

Intelligence - Learning
(There is not inflexibility, judgment, put-downs nor discouragement.)
"I am a good person; I am not a bad person. Being judged, put-down or discouraged doesn't help me or you. I'm withdrawing so we can learn about this another time."

Understanding - Discussion
(There is not dishonesty, controlling others, pouting nor yelling.)
"I cannot help to solve a problem when we are out of control. I am withdrawing so we can have a discussion about solutions later."

Kindness - Love
(There is not selfishness, blaming, guilting nor criticism.)
"I am sorry we are not together about this. Blame or guilt doesn't help me to grow or to be responsible. I'm withdrawing until we can talk calmly about what is hurtful or fearful."

Humor - Fun
(There is not complaining, jealousy, tantrums nor revenge.)
"I think these feelings are out of control. I want to help and I'm withdrawing until we can treat each other with intelligence and respect."

Beauty - Art
(There is not disorder, carelessness, noise nor yelling.)
"I need peacefulness, so I'm withdrawing until order returns and we can talk sincerely."

When you need help bringing peace to yourself, your family and friends, these statements can remind you and your dear ones of sincere values and discerning ways to solve grievances.