Marriage Counseling Dallas | Personality & Relationship Expert | 214-636-5889
Heather Carlile, a certified LPC and LMFT Supervisor, whose private practice is in Richardson, TX, specializes in depth psychology and
marriage counseling. Her unique transpersonal philosophy, which she uses to relieve anxiety, depression, guilt, anger and grief, integrates archetypes and the Enneagram. She created and co-facilitates Designer Marriage with her husband, Dr. Jack Waldenmaier in classes and on the radio.
My first Google + Hangout broadcast is at 7:30 tonight. It’s free to anyone who has a Google + Page. A special opportunity came via an email from Dr. Kathy McDonald, a colleague and professor who attended my workshop at the TCA Conference on “Childhood Role Models: The Gifts and the Curses in the Childhood Hero.” I’ll be presenting to her psychology class at OSU tonight via my Google + Hangout!
As a Marriage Counselor, I am always playing detective. I listen carefully to each person – I hear the stories, the examples, the word-usage, the type of emotional response, the levels of perception or judgement, signs of inflexibility, etc. Sometimes the cause of difficulties or conflict is not obvious. But, often, when I probe about childhood role models it reveals an unconscious life script. The heroes we identify with as our brain develops can program our view of ourselves and others and the world in stiff patterns. We create habits and judgements based on the talents and gifts perceived in the hero. But, children aren’t mature enough to see what’s missing or what’s unrealistic. It can be pretty disconcerting looking through adult and discerning eyes at how we can (and, probably did) limit ourselves and misinterpret life based on those fondly-held heroes.
You can learn about what happened “When Tarzan Married Cinderella” on my 4-part You Tube presentation.
P.S. I had the best time with Dr. McDonald’s students – they had insightful questions…a few I’d never encountered before. I’m looking forward to more!
As a Marriage Counselor, I learn countless examples of how we “Play with Fire” in our relationships. Often people do things without thinking which end up hurting the one they love and affecting the levels of trust they have created. And, sometimes, we know that we’ve made a mistake yet don’t know how to apologize effectively to we can move towards healing and forgiveness and get on the road to rebuilding trust. Marriage, of all things, I believe is The Real Deal in life. Yes, it is the most personal and powerful way we have of connecting and loving. And, yes, it is the place where our mistakes really count. Fortunately, our willingness to repair the hurts and avoid them in the future usually creates an even stronger bond. So, I hope you don’t intentionally find yourself “Playing with Fire” (my new keynote talk) but, if you do, please see a professional like me ASAP!
Composer, musician, professor, Dr. Mike Bogle, helped me contribute to Beverly Hill’s Gendercide Awareness Project this month.
Beverly was given a copy of the German documentary, “Caught in an Unjust World: To be a woman in India,” a film by Marion Mayer-Hohdahl. Beverly found a translator and asked me if I would be willing to record the voice over in English. I was thrilled to be able to help!
Then, as luck would have it, I met Dr. Mike Bogle at a Blue Candlelight chamber music concert.
Beverly gave me the script and I took it into Mike. He welcomed me to his recording studio. We completed the recording and became fast friends. Thanks, so much, Mike!
A relentless passion drives my wanting to understand gender difference. My curiosity about male and female roles started when I was in high school. I’m STILL learning. And, as a Marriage Counselor, I learn intimate details about real relationships every week. I am very sensitive to the privilege I have in being a woman loved and respected in true reciprocity by her husband. And, I have no illusions about how so many of our global cultural traditions are “Playing With Fire” in the inequity in marriages and intimate relationships and family systems.
I am driven to articulate the problem (one of the most severe is gendercide), the costs (about 200 million women are currently dead), the goals (infusing new beliefs in our cultural milieu) and how to get there (the lessons in my Designer Marriage book). So, I’ve been refining my knowledge in my private practice work with couples and in my workshops for my colleagues. Now, because of the success couples attribute to my work with them, I think that it’s time that expand outside the private space in my office and that I teach in public places.
You Tube videos and Google Hangouts are available to me with perfect timing!
Good news: the Enneagram has been validated so well by formal research that it is now available for more people through the workplace. See the article on using the Enneagram in the workplace published by CNN this week! The Enneagram is also my best tool as a Marriage Counselor because it directs me to the probable source of misunderstandings and to the top relationship skills for each person.
I discovered a rare moment, which was captured by PBS, of hearing the voice of this woman who is so authentic that she has passionate power, delicate reverence and shimmering light. I feel that Lera Auerbach has the genius of Beethoven. She has the language of Goethe and Rilke. She has the femininity of The Lady of the Lake. She has the strength of Wagner. She has the tenderness of Mother Theresa. She is a composer (here she says how music is a language of the heart and soul), a wife, a poet, a friend, an artist, a daughter, a lover of her little pets, a visionary and a living creator of, and an advocate for, great art.
This week I’m in Atlanta taking Part I in the Enneagram Certification Training. As my clients know, The Enneagram is my best tool. As I tell them, it makes me about 70% faster at the beginning of my counseling work. I am so grateful to be able to take the time (6 days now) for in-depth study with the best experts. We have three teachers: Gayle Scott, Lynda Roberts and Michael Naylor. Our classes are from 9:00 am to about 10:00 pm. So it’s a true intensive.
If you want to take the Riso Hudson Enneagram Type Indicator that I use, see the link directly to the test page at the bottom of my web page to the Enneagram Institute website. It just costs $10. If you would like me to help you interpret your scores, give me a call at 214-636-5889 for an appointment.
Yesterday I met Lois Jordan and her staff from Solutions Outpatient Services in Dallas. She and I have known of each other for many, many years and we finally met! She invited me to present an introduction to the Enneagram. They already have knowledge of the Enneagram, my favorite personality assessment and best tool. So, enthusiasm was high and we all had so much to share with each other. I am so thankful to meet colleagues of such authenticity and caring wisdom. They provide one of the best programs to help people who are ready to do something about their addictions and more. If you or a loved-one need some help, just visit with them about your options.
I appreciate your question, Anri. Here are a few things I can express briefly; I have thought about this and written at length on infidelity; its sources and resolutions:
1. Lack of Maturity
2. Lack of Emotional Intelligence
3. Lack of Knowledge
4. Lack of Skills
Thanks, Chris. After infidelity, I try to start fair by reminding the couple that there must be something missing (one or more of the above) in their marriage/relationship (best friends who are romantic). No blame, just logic, and let’s figure that out. (more…)
Yesterday and today I was grateful to be given three classes to teach at UNT in the Wellness Promotion school. The focus of their degrees goes in many directions for health and wellness including many school teachers in training. I’m grateful to my husband, Jack Waldenmaier, for the songs he has written to help me be an effective presenter. Today, I used his surfer-inspired hilarious song, I’ve Got a Saboteur. You can hear all of his fabulous commercial music at his website: musicbakery.com